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| - Amazing LoveMan time fly's. My first semester of college is coming to an end fast, I can't believe it went by so quickly. So far its been pretty good. But for some reason I still find myself dazing off thinking about high school, its weird, I miss it but at the same time, if I had the chance to go back, I wouldn't cause I know its time to move on. But man thinking back now, those four years were kick ass. There was so much that went on it just those four years of my life, good and bad. This feels like a post that should have been made much sooner to graduation, but I dunno I guess it was a bit of a delayed reaction w/ me.... A LONG DELAY.. haha. Just at times I miss the way things use to be, w/ being able to walk down the halls and recognize faces and say hi to dozens of people between classes, now its just go to class take notes listen to lecture and leave and go back to the dorm or what not. I thought going to college and starting new would be so easy and refreshing. But it def. is not as easy as I thought, I dunno for some reason I just am not the most outgoing person to meet new people, I tend to be more reserved to strangers which has been a bit of an obstacle for me to meet people. Plus another part of it is I 'm just so use to hanging out w/ the runners and athletes in general that its weird not being apart of the team now. If I were on the team it would be a bit easier cause then I would have people to talk to that have some of the same interests as me. My roommate is pretty cool, but we are pretty opposite, I'm more the athletic type, not much of a partier and hes the opposite, the non atheltic type, punk rocker and a big partier. Yea such a big partier that he had some girl and guy in my bed one night when I had gone up to g-ville to visit some friends, yea well that guy and girl def. had there fun in my bed, not cool. And then another time I had gone home for the weekend and he had some random guy stay in my bed, supposedly he was running from some big black guy that wanted to kill him. So that hasn't been very good, I'll just have to start stripping my bed if I leave for the weekend. Classes have been going pretty well, I'm doing ok 2 A's, 2 B's and 1 C. Just have to bring that C up and things will be good, so I guess thats one benefit of not having a social life, I'm doing pretty well in classes. LOL. So I guess its definitely time for me to move on for good, I can't keep living in the past, cause I know there is so much more out there to experience (hopefully). And the whole being shy thing, I know its up to me to get out there and meet people cause if I don't I'll just keep isolating myself. Alright well its getting late and I have test tomorrow morning so I need my sleep. Good night and sweet dreams... | | |
| - I got friends in low places So went home yesterday for my sis's b-day, got her the ashley simpson cd. She really liked it. Had my first quiz today as a college student, it was in my environment class, I think I did pretty well, 10 questions and I think I only missed 1. Been doing some studying ahead of time for my tests next week. (which is a new thing for me. LOL). Went over to my friends place to study for government. Then we decided to go get some dinner, even though I wasnt hungry. But anyways so we were walking and just talking and then we started talking about some more personal stuff and, let me just say I had a feeling this person had lost their "v-card" (we'll call it) but I guess I just didn't want to believe it, well she definitely backed up my suspicion, even though I was hoping not. Now I mean I don't think I like this person like that I've known her for ahwile and we've been friends, but for some reason it sorta bothered me to find out and especially who it was with. When I asked the first time she played it off saying she still held her "v-card" but she was smiling and giggling and I could tell she was lieing which I think kinda pissed me off more that she would lie I mean truthfully I dont think I would have minded as much if she had just come out and said it and not lied. I just don't like when people lie. So I started thinking about how I think the majority of the college population have had sex. The majority of the people I've met so far have all had sex, and I just can't believe it, its like breathing to these people. I dunno I want to wait till I meet someone that I really care about, I don't want to just end up hooking up w/ some girl at a party or what not. But then again I don't know the situations for the other people, for all I know it could have done it with a long lasting relationship, seeing as I haven't been in one I really have no place to judge. Thats another thing after she told me, I got a little weird like. I didn't mean to, I guess I was a little disappointed. She thought I was judging her and truthfully I'm not cause I still care about her as a friend it just kinda pissed me off that she lied. But whatever.Aw well I just wanted to rant a bit. | | |
| So its been ahwile since I last updated, def. getting pretty bad at staying on top of this. Two weeks of school are down and they have been alright, nothing special, been assigned a butt load of reading which sucks. But I guess thats college. The hurricanes have torn through florida now and with one more on the way. Nothing really to exciting has been going on, just trying to meet new people still and thats about it.
I've noticed I've been doing alot of dreaming lately. It's weird cause when I wake up I really can't remember much if any at all, but I just know that they weren't bad dreams, and no they weren't sick "happy" dreams either, they were.. comforting dreams I guess. And they all have had to do with a girl, girls that I know and girls that I've never met. One in particular is of a girl who is older than me and we have been friends for a couple years she goes to a different school and this person is someone that I have had mixed feelings towards for ahwile, its like a roller coaster almost, sometimes its really good and I just think the world of her and how awesome she is and then other times I'm kicking myself saying "why am I wasting my time" but this dream was good, all I remember was we were hanging out and we must have been having a good time cause we were both laughing and smiling and having fun.
Then another dream involved a girl that I am going to school with, I've known her for a couple years and we have always been friends, and I did have a crush on this girl when I first met her but then it just developed into a good friendship, well the dream involved me and her kissing all of a sudden, we were hanging out and all of a sudden I leaned in and kissed her. It was just weird cause I never really thought of her like that, other than when I had a crush on her.
I dunno, maybe they are just dreams and nothing more, but right now I'm in intro to psych and they say dreams are from your unconscious part of your mind that are trying to come through to your conscious or something alont those lines, I dunno I'm still a first year student. I'll have better understanding after I get further into my major. I dunno maybe these dreams are telling me something, or maybe not.
Anyways so school was cancelled today do to Frances, so I need to spend this time reading so I'm gonna go do that, till next time.. | | |
| - its five o'clock somewhereSo the time has come. COLLEGE! I moved in today and man was that an ordeal but I'm finally pretty much settle just have to make a few adjustments and pick up a few items. Gonna go look for my classes tomorrow so I don't look like a typical freshmen monday morning not know where the heck I'm going. My roommate is cool hes athletic as well so thats good. This week has been interesting. I have been excited and scared and terrified and happy all at once. It still really hasn't hit me yet that I'm in college, it definitely will monday I'm sure. So this week has also given me sometime to think about friends and growing up and how its time to let go of things in the past its a new stage of my life and I should go into with a "clean slate" so to speak. And such things as boy hood crushes are probably about time to give up and there's no point in beating myself up over something I did or didn't do these past four years or for that matter these past 18 years. I just am ready to start a new phase in my life now and for those who want to be apart of it I welcome with open arms and hope to share as much as possible with you and those who don't really care one way or another then good bye and hope you achieve all you want in life. | | |
| So its been sometime since I updated last. Sad thing is not much has been going on. Well looks like the last entry was talking about how excited i was to see my friend from georgia that i hadn't seen in like 4 years. So she came down and i met her at dinner at olive garden with her and her friend that she came down with. Wow she looked beautiful it was so awesome to see her, its been a long time. I remember when i first started talking to her it was in 7th grade on the sea camp trip we took and she busted her ankle the first day we got there so i got lug her around on my back the first couple days. It was a fun time. So we caught up and what not at dinner and then she said they were going to the beach the next day so they invited me to come so I met them at New Symrna the next day and hungout with them there for the afternoon. Wow she looked so good in a bathing suit . But anyways.. It was really good to see her again I just wish she still lived close by but aw well what can ya do.
So after that nothing else has really been going on since then. Trying to run as much as possible to get ready for the tryout. Its weird sometimes i really want to make the team and i think about how much i love competing and being on a team the adrenaline rush i get when i step to the line is just so awesome. but then there are other times when i'm just like man i don't think i really want to do this and i feel so unmotivated. but i know that now i'm at a point where it's up to me to run or not, if i want to then i'll do it if not then i'll walk away but i know no one is gonna tell me how much i should and hold my hand, so its just something i have to decide for myself.
Anyways so a few of my friends have left for summer school at there respective colleges already and man i'll tell you it doesn't help the situation of being bored everyday now with people already starting college its really gotten quiet. Its crazy to think everyone is gonna be starting there own lives in the next few months its pretty scary to think about.. so thats why i try not to think about to much..  So where i'm staying next year for college is up in the air. I called today to see about my housing app. and they said they have it on file but anything received after march 1 they are unable to garuantee housing well mine was received may 1. So we'll see what happens with that they said if there are enough cancellations then i should hear with in the next two weeks but if not then i have no idea where the heck im gonna stay next year.. maybe commute from home to tampa everyday ehh yea that will be fun. So but other than that nothing really has been going on with me just really really bored and can't wait for college to start. | | |
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